Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

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Male Celebrity Before and After

June 9, 2008

This is so mind opening and mind blogging boggling at the same time… haha

Alright, alright… I am signing up for gym and yoga! I urge you guys to do the same 🙂

1. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold

2. Rod Steward

3. Clint Eastwood

Eastwood

4. Pierce Brosnan

Pierce Brosnan

5. Richard Gere

Richard Gere

6. Roger Moore

Roger Moore

————————————–The End —————————————-

Moral of this post:-

“All parts of the body which have a function if used in moderation and exercised in labors in which each is accustomed, become thereby healthy, well developed and age more slowly, but if unused they become liable to disease, defective in growth and age quickly.”

~Hippocrates~

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Fuel Saving Tips (Part II)

June 7, 2008

Eventually Fuel Saving Tips (Part II) has arrived. I know there has been a lot of request asking me to finish the Fuel Saving Tips’ series. So here you go my friends and my FM, Mr. TC. I hope you guys will enjoy reading. However, let me pre – warn you guys that, I never guarantee this tips to be logical…

Anyway, my one and only tip is to… migrate to Venezuela. If you do not know yet, gasoline in Venezuela is the cheapest in the world – 1/15 the price of a litre of bottled water, and 1/25 the price of a litre of milk.

Gas Price

So what’s the big deal RuehYinn? Let me show what’s the big deal…

Firstly,

Price of gasoline in Venezuela = RM0.16/liter

Price of gasoline in Malaysia = RM2.70/liter

Big Deal No 1: You’re paying whopping 16.875 times more than people in Venezuela !

Secondly, assuming you are driving a Proton Waja (fuel consumption of 9.0 km/liter), every RM100…

You can travel 333.33 km in Malaysia

You can travel 5625 km in Venezuela

Big Deal No 2: RM100 is only able to sustain your fuel consumption for 4 days ( approx. 1/2 week) in Malaysia but enough for you to drive in Venezuela for 4 months before the next refueling.

Don’t ask me about the road tax, car price and etc in Venezuela. I have no clue… But isn’t the gasoline price in Venezuela already very appealing for those that are so upset about the recent gas price increase?

—————————————————————————————

Alright, to add in some sweetener to my tips, allow me to convince you further why you should move to Venezuela…

1. Venezuela is a beautiful country. There are the snowcapped peaks of the Andes in the west; steamy Amazonian jungles in the south; the hauntingly beautiful Gran Sabana plateau, with its strange flat-topped mountains, in the east; and miles of white-sand beaches fringed with coconut palms on the Caribbean coast.

Venezuela

Originally uploaded by josemazcona

You have snow mountain, big jungles, beautiful beach and landscape, what else to complain?

2. This is more appealing toward the guys. Believe it or not, Venezuela is one of the countries that produce the highest number of prettiest women in the world. No, I am not talking about dumb blonde or dumb pretty. I am talking about women that are not only attractive but intelligent also. Look at the statistic below:-

As of 2007, best performing countries for MISS WORLD title are:-

Ms World

As of 2007, best performing countries for MISS UNIVERSE title are:-

Ms. Universer

These table are taken from Wikipedia, so I assumed it is pretty reliable. But guys, please brush up your Spanish before approaching the beautiful Venezuelan ladies. Else, don’t come back empty handed to Malaysia and bash me up for convincing you guys.

3. And also my intuition tells me, you might be the few Malaysian that migrates over to Venezuela. So, in order to make a living, you could just open an authentic Malaysian buffet restaurant. Who knows? … because your product is a niche, you became the largest Malaysian buffet restaurant chain in Venezuela. You will be freaking RICH …$$$$$ ! Malaysia Boleh… show them our spirit and make us proud !

So do you have enough good reasons to migrate now?

What about you RuehYinn?

As for me, I have decided to stay in Malaysia. No doubt, recent gasoline price hike is hard to swallow but I believe the decision is inevitable. I would rather take a short term pain than having illusion that we’re somehow insulated by the rising price of crude oil. Let’s just hope that our government ( I pray really hard, alright?) will use the money coming from the saving on the subsidy to improve the nation. Ohh… I forgot to tell you, over subsidizing gasoline in Venezuela has caused the country to have too many cars; i.e. bad traffic congestion and government lack of funding to improve the country’s infrastructure…

NOW YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT !!!!!

** If you are interested, click here for Fuel Saving Tips Part 1

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Did You Know ?

June 5, 2008

Originally uploaded by margolove

DID YOU KNOW: Watermelons are 97% water, lettuce 97%, tomatoes 95%, carrots 90%, and bread 30%.

RY: I know now but why? Someone helps me out!

DID YOU KNOW: In 1929, Charles Leiper Grigg from the Howdy Company invented a drink which was introduced to the market as “Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Sodas,” which didn’t sell terribly well so the company renamed it 7 Up.

RY: Never complicates life. It is complicated enough!

DID YOU KNOW: In 1945 a computer at Harvard malfunctioned and Grace Hopper, who was working on the computer, investigated, found a moth in one of the circuits and removed it. Ever since, when something goes wrong with a computer, it is said to have a bug in it.

RY: You are the man bug, moth! Continue to make history for your ‘race’.

DID YOU KNOW: The characters of Homer, Marge, Lisa, and Maggie were given the same first names as Simpsons creator Matt Groening’s real-life father, mother, and two sisters.

RY: I wonder if Simpson is reflective of Matt’s family personality. That will be so funny if it is. Can do a reality show rather than watching cartoon.

DID YOU KNOW: (1) John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839; Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939; (2) Both assassins were known by their three names; (3) Both names are composed of fifteen letters; (4) Lincoln was shot at the theatre named ‘Ford.’, while Kennedy was shot in a car called ‘ Lincoln ‘ made by ‘Ford.’; (5) Lincoln was shot in a theatre and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse, while Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theatre; and finally; (6) A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland, whereas a week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

RY: Very creepy. I don’t want to know anymore!

DID YOU KNOW: Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.

RY: Really? I love honey.

DID YOU KNOW: Spiral staircases in medieval castles always run clockwise because all knights used to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand which was holding the sword because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs. Left-handed knights would have had no troubles, except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil.

RY: My father is left handed, so is he the…? He is nice person, though.

DID YOU KNOW: At age 47, the Rolling Stones’ bassist, Bill Wyman, began a relationship with 13-year old Mandy Smith, with her mother’s blessing. Six years later, they were married, but the marriage only lasted a year. Not long after, Bill’s 30-year-old son Stephen married Mandy’s mother, age 46. That made Stephen a stepfather to his former stepmother. If Bill and Mandy had remained married, Stephen would have been his father’s father-in-law and his own grandpa.

RY: All things are possible in he name of love.

DID YOU KNOW: Ferdinand Porsche, who later went on to build sports cars bearing his own name, designed the original 1936 Volkswagen!

RY: Who is the designer of Proton Saga? I want to be his best friend.

DID YOU KNOW: There are 52 cards in a standard deck and there are 52 weeks in a year. There are 4 suits in a deck of cards and 4 seasons in a year. If you add the values of all the cards in a deck (jack=11 queen=12, etc.) you get a total of 365 the same as the number of days in a year!

RY: Numbers and mathematic never stop to amaze me.

—————————-More knowledgeable now? ———————————–

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Tips: How to do business with two cows

June 1, 2008

I am in need of a dose of humor to make up the remaining of my day. So here it goes, a dose of cow joke for those that need it ! However, please read disclaimer first before you proceed…

Disclaimer: This joke is intended to cheer people up especially when a person is very unhappy, like me now. No intention to humiliate anyone. This joke is neither created nor posted endorsed by me. It was published here because it is freaking funny and I can’t help myself not to post it. Good thing is to be shared. Good joke is a good thing, so it has to be shared. However if you are a person that is lack or (worse still) no sense of humor, please omit this post and proceed to other posts. This blog provides wide variety of themes and I am sure you will find something suitable for you to read. I can keep on blah blah ing on this disclaimer “just for you” (those that do not have sense of humor) but I need to stop before I bored my reader who has the sense of humor. To end this disclaimer, I would like to leave a wise word, ” laughter is the best medicine“.

TWO COWS

Picture Originally Posted by kwerfeldein

———————-Enjoy & Laugh————————————————

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called ‘Cowkimon’ and market
them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and
now want RM1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk.
They go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urine
instead. Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu

—————————-Be Merry——————————————————-

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My midnight part time job…

May 31, 2008

Just like many others having part time job on top of their full time job, I am not excluded too. I have a part time job and I have been serving my job for few months now.

Sigh… What to do? Life is tough now… with current high inflation and low pay job, I just need to find extra money to continue sustaining my current expenses and bills. After all, if I don’t work hard when I am still young and energetic, when else? He he he… Anyway, I gotta stop whining. Complains always make one person lethargic, don’t you think so?

Try to guess what is my part time job? My only hint: I usually start working late at night… Could I work as a:-

1. Strip club bouncer

Night Club Bouncer

2. Gigolo?

gigolo

Hahaha… make your mind straight guys. None, of the above actually. My part time job is a “general worker” to my girlfriend when she starts baking late at night. My job scope includes…

1. preparing the utensils

2. mixing all the ingredients

3. do some light decorating and

4. wash and clean up and etc …etc… etc… (general jobs essentially)

Oh…for all the jobs that I do above…I don’t get paid. I’m just a “slave” working for my girlfriend just to have a piece of her cup cake. An hour job for 2 cup cakes… I know what comes to your mind… You guys must be thinking I am such an idiot to work for 2 cup cakes for an hour. But think of it that way, people are selling cup cakes outside for RM4.50 per piece. So effectively I am taking home RM9.00 per hour. I challenge you guys to find me such a good deal for a part timer :-). I just need food, that’s all…

If my justification is not acceptable, just think of it this way…All are done in the name of love. The love for her and the cup cakes…hahaha.

Okay, cut the crap. These are some of the cup cake pictures that I took. All are freshly bake cup cakes:-

Cupcake 1

and zoom in version…

Cupcakes 2

After faithfully perform my job, I got to enjoy my wages…

Cupcakes 3

Super duper yummy….

Yawn.. I need some sleep now. Signing off..goodnight…

May 31, 2008 @ 2.45am

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My blog is the center of gravity…

May 28, 2008

When someone speaks, they want to be heard.

When someone writes, they want their writing to be read.

When someone blog, not only they want their article to be read and heard but also to be enjoyed with the hope more and more people will visit your blog in the future.

My blog is only few days old. I know I know, I shouldn’t expect much. But out of my curiosity, I’ll check on my blog stats. I want to know how many people visited my blog and who drive them here. However, I was a little disappointed today as only one person visited my blog. If I ever know who is that person, I think I will give him a hug and thanks…hahaha… because without him my heart will be crushed. You know it is pointless if you put up a blog but no one enjoy what you have on your blog. It is all about sharing, remember? So to cut the crap short, other than having good content, I need traffic…hehe…

Anyway, as I scroll down the blog stat page, I was shocked !!! You know why??? Because my blog is the center of the gravity. Really, I am not lying. See below:-

Haha… okay, I know it is lame. But, I still don’t understand why the search engine would drive that “poor” guy to my blog when I didn’t write anything about gravity whatsoever. However, it is so comforting and amusing to see the blog stats report today. Probably it is God’s way to encourage me to continue blogging. I am sure God has a good sense of humor, don’t you think so? My response to Him will be “I got it, Sir”.

Moral of the story:-

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration.
Evan Esar